How to deal with separation The of your children
There are three main separations that parents will experience and will need to cope with.
A Child's First Day Of School
The first day of kindergarten is a big deal. A parent will most likely have let their kids go on playdates or attend preschool but these events do not really compare to the first day of school.
Play dates and preschool are temporary and usually not more than two hours. Just enough time for a parent to get a break! Play dates and preschool are an awesome start to beginning a social relationship with other kids and teachers, and to teach them to interact with others.
Also participating in play dates and preschool is a great way to see how kids learn and what they may need going forward in their learning career. (i.e. do they learn visually, audibly, by touching, in groups, by presenting and so on).
This is an important thing to note because most public curriculum focuses on two learning methods, visual and audible.
Kids are talked to and shown what to do. Little time is giving for critiquing or evaluation of performance. This gives parents an opportunity when children bring homework home to help them learn in a way that is best for them.
Kids are going to get homework starting in kindergarten, this is a place where a parent can fill the void they are feeling from their child stepping into the world of a schedule of their own.
Where Are The Parents
Parents can overcome the hardest part of kids going to school for the next 12 years in so many ways.
A parent may as well be a part of their learning and growing up, they are going to do it with or without them.
What Children Need To Learn
These formative years are critical to teach children what life is going to be like when they are on their own.
A five year old doesn’t need to be mowing the lawn but they should be taught how to rake the leaves and participate in other household chores. As they grow older, encourage them to do harder things that are going to challenge them.
Get them to work at home so they are not afraid of work in the real world.
Life for a child shouldn’t be just about work at home, they need to have fun too. Here are some ways that we found to make it fun.
As kids get older they will appreciate the work and the fun. As parents see children grow, they will have a better connection as they work with their children and play with them too.
When A Child Moves Out
When a child moves out is the second time that a parent can feel the anxiety of separation more profound than any other time to that point. This is the real deal. To put it in a real sense, your baby is leaving. This is challenging for most parents. A child finally takes the step to their own independence and a parent is sad about it. I can understand the anxiety of it. It raises a lot of questions. Are they ready? Will they make good choices? Who are they going to meet? Will they survive?
This goes back to the beginning of their life. As a new parent, there were so many unknowns about bringing them home. Are they ready? Will they make good choices? Who are they going to meet? Will they survive?
It is funny how childhood is cyclical. The hardest part is letting them grow into who they choose to become. As parents, we spend a lot of time telling our kids what to do. Brush your teeth. Get your feet off the couch. Take out the trash. Don’t forget that a parents role is also to teach them important lessons so when they do leave, they are prepared for the worst and the best. This is how you make a budget. Talk to people in a respectful tone. You don’t know everything. Put the toilet seat down when you are done, not before you start.
The more preparation a child is given before they leave home, the more equipped they will be for the hard times. Even if they don’t absorb it when they are told first, they will most likely retain a portion of the lesson and ask about it when the issue arises.
When a child gets married
This is the end, they have moved on, they don’t need you anymore and they will never see you again…That is very extreme but some people feel this way when they see their child move on to a state of marriage to another individual.
Marriage is not the end of your relationship. Think of it more of having another person to love.
The beginning of marriage is an amazing time for newlyweds. It is a season of discovery and bliss. Newlyweds feel invincible, untouchable, they are in love and nothing can go wrong....until it does.
The trials are very important for newlyweds. Parents should be near to give guidance and counsel their children when disaster erupts. Think back to the first trial that your team experienced. How was it overcome? Who helped walk through the hard times? There was one person that was there the most.
The idea that parents will never see their newlywed kid again is a thought at the beginning of the relationship, as time passes, the place for parents and children to spend more time together grows.
As grandchildren are introduced and alone time vacations are taken, the familial bond gets stronger and the prospects of participating in long lasting relationships with children broaden.
Quote from the Author:
"I want to caution parents not to negatively judge a child's spouse. If a parent has feelings of disgust or criticism to a spouse, it will come out eventually. This will most likely end a relationship. If your child doesn’t agree with you, it will be your relationship, not their spouses."
Parents, do not despair. Prepare your children for the time when they will need you. They will need you just as much as you need them.