Teach Children to be good friends to others
How to be a good friend to others
Here are some quick tips on how to be a good friend to others.
Listen when they talk, and give advice if needed
Listening is a pretty hard thing to do. Especially in our society today when the opportunity for distraction is really easy. Some of the best ways to get a listening place to go somewhere new, play a game together, get out of cell service, leave the phone on the night stand, and make time to be electronics free.
Commit to yourself to communicate with others. Set the example by talking to your kids and your partner with them around. Invite them to engage and keep them in the loop on grown up conversations that they would understand.
There are some times when someone needs to talk that they just need someone to listen, that’s it. Sometimes they need some words of advice, they will usually ask. Know what type of situation you are in.
Give them room to be themselves
Giving your friends some space is necessary to maintain a great relationship. Have you every spent time with the same person day after day and found out that you need a break? Even couples starting to date and pursuing a path of a relationship need some time to themselves regularly. This doesn’t change during marriage, either. We all need a place and some time to reset.
Remind kids that friends are fun but they and their friends need a break from each other.
Be there for them in their time of need
A long time ago, the mother of a good friend of mine passed away after years of battling cancer. We talked about what his future was like without his mom. It was a great experience just to be present and help him get through the struggle of it. I couldn’t offer any words of wisdom or insights, I am not in his situation and don’t know exactly how he feels.
On another occasion. I was spending time with some friends and we heard the hosts mom scream, my friend's step dad had a stroke. The paramedics came and the man was taken to the hospital. I watched my friend cry and I tried to comfort him. He didn’t want any comfort. He yelled and everyone really and was a complete mess.
In the first example, my friend was optimistic and resolved to move forward knowing that his life was going to go on and that he had a lot of great things to look forward to, we were still teenagers.
In the second example, my friend became hysterical and seemed angry and confused and how this was impacting his life.
When comforting people, make sure they want it. If you can’t help, encourage them to seek professional help. Know what your limits are on what you can do to help.
Don't judge or criticize, even if you don't agree with what they're doing
We are all raised a little different. What may be acceptable in one household might be extremely offensive in another. Be open to new ideas and be willing to understand new perspectives. You don’t have to change who you are or abandon your family because someone else believes something that you do not but be open and understanding to how they view the world. We discussed previously how children should be taught principles to live by. We are not advocating for children to abandon family traditions but it is ever important that children make their own decisions and decide on their life path, even if that differs from their parents. They are more likely to stay to a family tradition path if they are taught early.
Keep your promises and commitments (even if it's inconvenient)
We have all put ourselves in a situation where we just have ran out of time and are not going to make it to the next appointment on time. Teach children not to overcommit, to say no, when necessary, and focus on important tasks first.
Saying no is so important. There are so many people that would have everything done for them if they could get enough people to tell them yes to their every ask. This doesn’t just apply to an adult to adult interaction, parents need to learn to tell kids know and motivate them to achieve things on their own.
Too often I have seen parents doing all of the chores around the house. If there is a married couple and three kids in the house, there are five people to do the work, not one… Pitch in as a team and work together.
If a friend is told that they are going to be met at 6pm, you better be there. Quite some time ago, I spent some time with some friends in the mountains near where I was living. We went to ride dirt bikes. Before we left, I had made plans with another friend for later that night. Meanwhile, we had a great time riding dirt bikes and time got away from me. I had to call and tell my friend I wasn’t going to make it. He was vocally upset because I called about five minutes before we were to meet. I felt bad but I was still an hour away. Don’t let other people down especially if you set up a meeting.
Don't gossip about your friend with other people
The fastest way to lose a friend is to have them find out that one of their friends was talking crap behind their back. Teach your kids to value their relationships by being positive and uplifting about their friends, even when they aren’t there.