Having a Miscarriage and How to Overcome It
Miscarriages Are Common
Here are some quick facts:
Miscarriage is medically termed “spontaneous abortion”
A miscarriage is classified as such up to weeks 20 of pregnancy
A woman under 40 is 15% likely to have a miscarriage
A woman over 40 is 25% likely to have a miscarriage
A miscarriage after 20 weeks is called a late miscarriage or stillbirth
Only 1% of miscarriages are late miscarriages or stillbirths
⅓ of all pregnancies end in miscarriage.
Things to Remember:
You are not alone.
You may know someone that has had a similar experience.
Don't grieve alone.
Seek help if you are feeling overwhelmed.
Known Causes of Miscarriage:
Allow the process of grief to play through. These are very challenging times for women and men.
Things to Remember:
Grieve together but at your own pace.
Comfort your partner.
It’s okay to cry.
Let her decide when she is ready to try again. In our research, medical professionals say at least one menstrual cycle before trying to get pregnant after miscarriage.
After A Miscarriage: Facts
If an embryo dies and the body does not eject it, it can cause serious issues for an expectant mother.
This is called a Missed Miscarriage.
This will most likely result in the need of medical care to remove the dead fetus.
Don’t risk your life, talk to a doctor if something changes in your body to suggest a miscarriage has happened.
Things That Do Not Cause A Miscarriage:
Having vaginal sex does not cause a miscarriage
Working does not cause a miscarriage
Exercising does not cause a miscarriage
Falling while pregnant, while can cause a miscarriage, there is not a great chance of miscarriage.
Stress does not cause a miscarriage
The 5 Stages of Grief:
Help Overcome a Miscarriage
Stage 1. Denial
Stage 2. Anger
Stage 3. Bargaining
Stage 4. Depression
Stage 5. Acceptance
My Story
I realize that I am the Dad and that my story may be different than yours. My wife and I were trying to have a baby many years ago. The test result came back positive after she missed here cycle. A few weeks later, the test came negative and stayed negative. My wife was able to avoid any serious complication and the fetus ejected itself. We tried for a couple more months and we became positive again.
We had a daughter!
When we were ready for another baby another year or so later, we started the process again. We received another positive test. Things were going great! We met the midwife at the medical center and heard the heartbeat. She wanted to do some follow up tests. We went a few more times and heard the heartbeat. At the third visit, the heartbeat was gone. We had a late miscarriage at week 22.
It was devastating. I can remember being in the ultrasound room and listening and listening and listening, waiting to hear the heartbeat again. It wasn't there. But we had heard it before, why not now? It was confusing. The thought of frustration at how this could happen was at the front of my mind. The more we learned, we understood that she would not have survived life outside the womb if she had made it that far.
We went to the hospital to deliver our dead child. The pain and sorrow that came with this was grievous and saddening. After a few days of great sadness, it turned to less sadness but was still very difficult to focus and stay on task at work.
We found comfort in our religious belief that families are eternal units and that we will be with our little baby girl again. We relied on prayer and each other to get through this really difficult time.
With the comfort of the spirit of God and time, we have healed. It took me about a year and a half to get to acceptance.
We went on a grief trip on her actual due date just get away from our lives. We celebrated her first birthday and now remember her often.
Page [tcb_pagination_current_page] of [tcb_pagination_total_pages]