Teach Children how to think about other People

This might sound like the process to go to bed. We all get it, tub, shower, pajamas, teeth, read some books, kiss their head and say “ love you.” Pretty simple, for most parents. That was the shortest post I have ever written. Now to the real topic...

This post more so focuses on how to get kids to turn their minds from themselves to others. Most kids are not born with the ability to think of what someone else will need at any moment. Especially at moments of pain and sorrow. Even parents struggle with what their kids need in their day to day lives sometimes. Let’s dive into how we can teach our children to serve others in a process we call Turning Out.

Turn Out involves three ideas: Reflecting, Listening and Helping

-Reflecting

The thought of sitting still and just thinking about something is a pipe dream for most adults. That is all we want to do. 

Children, however, never stop moving, even going to bed is a fight for them to lay still long enough to fall asleep. So how do we get kids to reflect? 

One way is to have them draw what they are thinking about. Give them a blank piece of paper and have them draw whatever comes to their mind. Now we are talking about teaching children to Turn Out in this post, so, let’s nudge them in the direction we want them to go. 

Have your child draw a picture of how they can help someone. If you need to give them some ideas, some very easy ones are writing a letter to a loved one, making cookies for the neighbors or carrying in some of the groceries from the store. 

If you kids aren’t into drawing, maybe a sports game would be more in line with their personality. Give them a ball and after every hit/throw/kick, have them tell you something that they think would make someone else happy. 

Avoid allowing them to use electronics for this exercise, we are trying to get information out of their head not put information in their head. 

Still drawing and sports don’t interest your children, try just asking them pointed questions about ways they can help others or things they can do to make a difference for others around them. 

One Foot In The Reflecting Pond

-Listening

All of my kids have a bad habit of taking their shoes off and throwing them anywhere on the floor. They are not malicious about it but they have no problem stepping on them if they are in the way. It bugs the crap out of me. I hate tripping over objects in walking paths throughout the house. If this bugs you as much as it does me, try this reflecting exercise. 

Once the sin has been committed (leaving shoes in the middle of the floor). Calmly call your child back to the shoes. Bend down and pick up their foot and put it on top of the shoe. Ask them to stand on it, full weight on one foot. You might have to steady them. Have them imagine the whole room was filled with shoes and every step they took would feel like what they are feeling in that foot right now. 

Then ask them, is that what they want their floor to feel like? Ask them to put away their shoes. The next time they take their shoes off see where they put them. If nothing has changed, you got your kid to listen to you once! I don’t even know if it will work. I am going to try it. 

Come up with different ways to get your kids to listen by creating a lesson in an activity to help them turn the wheels of why they are doing something.

Make a decision to make a decision

-Helping

Getting children to think about their options before they act is what we are trying to achieve. There are hundreds of options everyday, helping children make conscientious choices everyday will train their brains to reason through their lives rather than be pushed through their lives.

Too many kids grow up to be molded by someone else. Take the time today to develop a child's ability to make up their own mind.

This is done by asking questions, helping them realize options and letting them make mistakes. 

We have taught them to Turn out

As you give your children opportunities to turn their minds out towards others by allowing them to reflect, listen and help, they will develop their own abilities and talents and create beneficial habits that will help them be productive adults. 

That is the goal after all, they won’t be living with us forever, hopefully. So teach them to Turn Out!