The Story
I’m Pregnant
When a woman is pregnant, there is a lot of emotion that goes into that. Guys will never understand what that is like. Dads, if they are around to see the outcome, will experience through the woman's point of view.
In my situation, we ate a lot of Crown Burger when my wife was pregnant with our first child!! No complaints there.
Pregnancy is complicated, even for the guy.
When a woman is pregnant, they change. Their body changes, their emotions change, their outlook and what they are thinking about changes. They start to develop a sense of compassion for this little amoeba sucking their nutrients. They are even putting their life in danger.
The Problem
Children are generated one way, when a sperm enters an egg. This can be a one night stand, in vitro fertilization, rap, between cohabiting partners, or rooted in the bonds of marriage. Whatever the situation is, the baby is going to grow in it’s incubation. If it’s healthy and makes it to this world, someone has to take care of it.
From a Guys Perspective – Getting Through Pregnancy
Some of the scariest words I have ever heard my wife say is, “I’m pregnant!!” I wasn’t really sure what I was supposed to do or how to help her.
At first, things were pretty normal, then she started being tired all the time. Then she complained about sickness, then she wanted a foot massage (I hate feet).
The days moved into months of my wife changing. We had more pillows on the bed then shirts in the closet.
As a husband, I felt alone and not needed during my wife’s pregnancy. I knew I was and yet she was independent of me. It was just her and this baby. She got plenty of attention from other people too.
We Are Going to Freak Out
Guys freak out about pregnancy because we don’t know what to do. We are not sure we can provide value, we are scared of the future. We get less sex, I guess we did that to ourselves by getting our significant other pregnant.
We try to cope with feelings that we are not sure what to do with. A man’s behavior during pregnancy is different than any other time. We are shifting into a position of fight or flight.
Some men are ending a relationship during pregnancy while others work harder at work and bring home some extra cash because of the uncertainty.
What The Guy Feels
A man’s feelings during pregnancy is inadequacy to raise a child. We spent most of our life to that point playing with our friends, (video game, board game, sports, esports, at work, on the road, travelling to new locations and doing things that we wanted to do). This is going to sound really selfish and I think I am talking for a lot of guys, we just wanted to have fun with no strings attached.
Before the baby comes, we are overcome with a dread of responsibility, having to grow up a little and find a way to take care of something that we could break, very easily. This fragile creature that is draining the life force from our partner is scary as hell.
We Are Here to Help
If you are a dad that needs support, send us an email. We are not doctors, just guys that have been there before.
Learn to Overcome
How do we overcome the challenges of pregnancy? We deal with it one day at a time. Support your partner and help them feel comfortable. Listen to them complain and talk through the scenarios.
Me personally being involved in an emergency C-section and the loss of a child, there are going to be days when it doesn’t make sense or the situation seems scary, but that kid and your partner need you.
Is It The End, Think Again
If you feel like you need to end your relationship with your partner during their pregnancy, seek a third party counselor. Attend with your partner. It may be the right thing for your relationship, however, it may also be the worst thing for the child.
Guy Pregnancy Symptoms
Self doubt - boom, it hits you. Have you made the right choice?
Inadequacy - I can't take care of a child!!
Insecurity - Am I good enough to be a dad?
Wanting to leave - Maybe this would work better without me.
Gaining weight - Settle in to the over-consumption of things that taste good but are not good for you.
Avoiding your partner - Their body has changed and it is not what you remember. Are talking crazy or is it me? There might not be enough room on the bed.
Woman Pregnancy Symptoms
She may feel distant from you during the pregnancy.
They want more room on the bed and need you to scoot over, or off the bed completely.
They may feel abandoned even though you are there.
They may want really weird things, like pickles and peanut butter on a sandwich.
They are going to do a lot of research on the best products.
They are going to buy a lot of products. Dresser, crib, carseat, changing table, special trash can, diapers, clothes that the kid will only wear for a few weeks...might need to save some money!!
They will build a nest for the baby. (in my case we painted the walls with fresh paint and painted the floors in a checkered pattern and put all the stuff from the last item in the room, still need to paint the walls in the picture to the right)
When Will It End
The awesome part about pregnancy is that it will end. Having a kid out of the womb is way more fun than having them in the womb. It has to come out first...