Do kids still need manners? 

It seems like the answer to this question is a resounding yes. Parents constantly tell their children not to be rude, and that they should say please and thank you when they are given something by someone else. But just telling them these things doesn't do enough! As parents, we owe it to our children to teach them how to treat other people with respect so that they don't grow up feeling like people owe them something or pushing others out of the way in order for them to get what they want. This blog post will discuss some ways on teaching your child manners as well as some benefits of doing so!

The Three Topics

-By teaching your children to say please and thank you, they will be more grateful for what they have. They will also learn that manners are important things that need to be taught because all people deserve respect in the world.

-Parents should teach their kids how to treat other people kindly by modelling this behavior themselves! one of the best ways to teach children to use manners is to use them yourself. Being a consistent example can help your children no matter the circumstance. As a parent at the grocery store, on the ballfield for practice or just walking in the neighborhood, any situation parents can be an example to their kids needs to be exploited.

-Kids will get farther ahead in life if they are taught how to treat others with respect. It is important for parents to give their children the tools that can help them live a successful and happy life!

Manners are a life-long benefit for Kids

Let's discuss how to teach kids to use their manners. Here are four tips to help your children be polite.

-First, you should teach them to greet the people they meet and introduce themselves! The best way for kids to learn this is by telling stories about when you met someone famous or a new friend. This will show how important it is to say hello first thing in person as well as on the phone. Show your kids how introductions happen, the attitude in meeting new people and how to interact with people you already know.

-Second, if kids are taught that they should not interrupt an adult or another child, it will help them understand how important a "thank you" is when someone does something for them (or helps with homework). You can also tell your children about the difference between saying "please" when asking for something and when they need to be firm when things get repetitive.

-Third, parents should set a good example. You want to have patience and be kind when your children forget their manners or say things that are hurtful. Kids won't always get it right on the first try but they will learn with practice how to treat people properly. You can also tell kids about time constraints for making phone calls, when it's appropriate to text instead of call or the importance of sending an email at the right time.

-Finally, you can tell them about the importance of listening to others and not interrupting. This is where a child's manners might be tested more than anything else: when they have an opinion or want something that someone else has. Kids should learn how to ask for what they need politely so there are no hurt feelings on either side. Keep in mind that there are other people, kids especially that have not been taught manners. Kids need to be reminded that others may say things that are hurtful to them either on purpose or unintentional.

You Are the Ultimate example for your kids

Now, let's talk about how parents can be an example to their kids. These are our three ideas.

-Be consistent with your manners in how you interact with new people and people you know.

-Use your manners at the table and teach your kids what those are.

-Practice saying "please" and thank you in your day-to-day conversations.

 One of the most important things to teach children is how to treat others with respect. It's not always easy, but it's worth teaching them how manners are important so that they can be kinder human beings themselves.

Kids are very malleable. By that I mean that they will believe whatever you tell them. They are impressionable and emulate their favorite examples. This is a weapon that parents have, really, to raise terrible people, mediocre people or exceptional people.

Not all kids turn out like their growing examples. In my experience, kids reject the things they hated when they were growing up. I say this as a caution to make learning in home a fun experience that will engage children in a way that they will want to keep participating.

With respect to kids getting farther ahead in life if they are taught how to treat others with respect. Here are the three tools that we found useful to help those kids gain some manners.

There are many book resources, however, develop a concise and non-confrontational way how to do things like walk up to another person, shake their hand with eye contact, introduce oneself and ask simple questions about them.

This type of interaction is a physical connection. There are a lot of resources on ways of teaching children how to connect with others verbally as well as physically through simple gestures like asking questions about them (with eye contact) while shaking their hands.

Now, let's talk about a verbal connection

A verbal connection like saying please and thank you isn't enough. I'm a big believer in teaching kids manners from the beginning, but also to use a tone that is acceptable for the type of conversation they are engaging. Let's explore a little deeper into verbal tones and what is appropriate. If I was to tell a story about a three year old and said, this three year old said, "I want it," every parent would know that the tone used by this child was whiny and demanding. My house is no different. For some parents the go to response is a slap upside the head. I believe no child should be hit, we can be critical and authoritative in loving ways that don't end in violence as parents. When our three year-olds have used this tone, we correct them and ask them to rephrase the statement into a question and ask them not to speak to us with derision.  Children are a product of their environment, and while we can't always control the tone they use in response to our instruction, it's my responsibility as a parent to teach them that verbal tones really do matter.

When parents engage with young children there is an appropriate level of conversation for which they will be expected to know how to respond. There should never be any yelling or screaming when talking with little ones; don't be confused with authoritative tones. Parents need to be in charge but to bring that authority to verbal abuse or physical abuse is extremely excessive. Every family has different dynamics when communicating but what shouldn't happen is having tempers rise during interactions between child and adult. It doesn't take much to escalate to a situation where someone gets hurt, physically or mentally or someone goes to jail.

Now let's explore social Connections

There are two types of verbal tones: formal and informal.

Formal is used when you are at a doctor's office, for instance, or in any situation where your manners will be scrutinized as well. Informal tone is appropriate with close friends and family members who would not take offense to any slip-ups in etiquette. A child should know how to use both these types of speech if they want to maximize their opportunities.

At first meeting someone new, a formal tone should be used. Before relaxed tones are explored with new people, keep it respectful and gradually ease into a informal tone. If your family prays, there is a distinction that I have noticed in prayer from conversation. Point that out to your kids as well.

The Wrap Up

We have explained our tips and tools on how to teach kids manners, how parents can be an example by using physical, verbal and social tones, and gestures. Please note that these are our best tips and have worked for our family. Explore different options to help your team learn. Each family unit has a different dynamic and will learn and teach in their own way.

Send us an email and interact. We love to hear from fellow dads that have awesome experiences teaching their kids.