How To Prepare Kids For A New Baby: The New Baby Talk

Having baby number two is a trying experience for everyone. Sure the first one was challenging - chances are number one is only one to four years old by now - and baby number two isn’t going to be much easier to raise.

This post will focus on the older child/ren and how they react to the new sibling. They are older and can help in most cases but there is a potential that they may feel neglected or forgotten. If you need info on what you need for baby number one and what to expect when bringing them home, check out this post.

We are going to explore ways to prep your oldest or other kids for the the new baby. 

Have a family meeting to discuss the changes that will happen when the new baby arrives

There are a lot of things to consider and discuss as a family when having the new baby talk. A child doesn’t really have any input on family planning to add another baby but they should not be surprised with the new baby sibling after school one day, either. Take some time to discuss with your other child/ren that there is going to be an addition of a baby. Bringing home baby number three, for instance, is a lot different for your kids then bringing home baby number two.

If you have more than that, bringing home baby number eight is extremely different. Coming from a family with eight kids and remembering when baby number eight came home, I can remember not really caring that much that there was another one of us.

What do you discuss in a family meeting about a new baby? 

Where it will sleep? Who will watch it during the day and night? The possibility for your other children to be awoken in the night by screaming/crying? The amount of indoor activities that need to be done because the family is less likely to go out with a baby.

This would be a good time to discuss the daily tasks that need to be done and the step-up-ness other child/ren need to do to help the house. Encourage them to help out with chores and tasks around the house, such as picking up toys or folding laundry, or even just going to be on time so parents aren’t struggling to get the lights out.

The change in foods around the table to accommodate a little one are another topic. Where does everyone sit at the table now?

These are all exterior things but the interior things need to be discussed as well as it relates to other children. They are still loved and this needs to be communicated, however, the parents are going to have to give a lot more attention to the new sibling to make sure it is growing right.

How do parents help the older child/ren prepare for the next baby?

Here are some ideas on how your team can gear up the older child/ren for the new baby. Now these ideas are not fool proof and you might have to tweak these and add your own according to your child/rens needs and desires. These are our ideas.

Tell your children what to expect before they see the new baby

New babies smell, look and sound different than anything else on this planet. Before the event of birth happens, take some time to explain to your other child/ren what to expect when they are finally invited into the room with the new baby. The kids and the new baby need to meet each other within 24 hours of the baby being born.

Some ideas to discuss with the new baby's siblings could be, the head is going to be really small. They are going to make crying noises that are very high pitched and whiny. The room is going to smell different (the hospital/birthing center smells weird enough but the smell of the blood from the mom and the placenta are very different smells). 

Have a sibling buy a new toy for the baby

This doesn’t have to be their money but it can be. It also doesn’t need to be anything extravagant. Something simple that the baby will use and that the sibling will see the baby use. This shouldn’t be more than a 20 dollar item. Aside from letting the older sibling buy a toy, allow them to play with the new baby with it. Let them know before they do that the baby will play with it in their own way and that the child might get frustrated trying to get the new baby to enjoy the toy.

Let the Siblings hold the new baby

Aside from meeting each other, kids and the new baby need to meet and touch. Kids will need help if they are young. If your older child/ren are younger, have them sit on the floor, a couch or an armed chair and allow them to hold the baby until they don’t want to hold the baby anymore. Don’t forget to show them how to prop the baby's head. The first interaction may only be 20 seconds. This is normal and okay. 

Siblings could decorate the nursery for the new baby

Decorating is an expression of self-interest and will help your child/ren get in touch with their creativity. A great activity would be for your child/ren to prepare for a new baby by helping decorate the new nursery.

With each child that we brought home, we decorated differently and brought let each of our kids contribute in some small way to allow them to get a sense of involvement and attachment so our kids and the new baby could bond. This could be another way for your child/ren to connect with the new sibling.

Your Older Child/ren are still loved

Remind your child/ren that they are still loved even though they may not always be getting all of your attention anymore. Your older child/ren may enjoy having a little more freedom as the parents are more focused on the new baby. Perhaps it will give the dad partner a chance to connect better with the older child/ren because of the breast feeding schedule.

Take advantage to engage with the older child/ren and allow them to explore their new freedom through new creative experiences. Any change in their lives will take some adjustments so remember to be patient and allow them to develop new talents and ideas to deal with the new sibling in a way that is going to benefit them.

What we discussed

We talked about your older child/ren and how they can adapt to the new sibling. We discussed ways parents can engage those older child/ren to allow them to contribute. We also discussed some ways a new sibling is going to impact the family and how to discuss it collectively. Also provided were some ideas on how to engage your older child/ren in the baby raising process. Remember to be patient and allow your child/ren to grow at their own pace. Keep them involved and let them know you love them. You can do this, together.

The next step is making sure you have everything you need for the new baby. Check out our post on what you need in the nursery.