Why does having kids leave so little time for self care as a parent
Being a parent is the most rewarding and stressful thing you will ever do. When I became a dad, it changed my life in every way imaginable. I loved more, I gave more, I had to be more. The hard part was not the sleepless nights or losing out on social activities; It’s that if you take care of your kids then there is no time for yourself. I felt like an empty shell of myself and needed to reclaim some control over my life so I started taking better care of me. Here are three tips that helped me improve my self-care game as I learned how to do me.
Pro Tip #1 - Stay Active
That's right get out those gym shorts, put on the kicks and hit the pavement. It doesn't have to be anything record breaking. Just start moving. A brisk walk for 15 minutes can burn as much as 35 calories. If it is cold outside lie on a comfy floor and do some leg exercises. Sit in the butterfly position and stretch your muscles. Here is our post on Losing Weight The Hard Way.
Care should be taken not to hurt yourself of do more than you are capable. The point is to start where you are and move forward. One of my mentors' best encouragements has been to "start". That has really be the motivation that has kicked me into motion. Nothing happens for me unless I do it to me.
Staying active isn't just for your health or to help you live a long life, it is also to help you be able to keep up with your kids. They have way more energy then you do, they can out pace you in a race, they even are more agile. Even just taking a little care to get out and move gets you one step closer to being able to spend another few minutes playing physically with your kids. That is something that they need.
Here is a list of 5 ideas to help you stay active
Pro Tip #2 - Create a cave Space
There is an important place for all of us that we can go to be ourselves and feel isolated, just briefly. We don't really want to be isolated forever, just enough time for us to get our minds back in the game of life.
Set up a corner of the room or a space in the garage that is just for you. I even put on a certain coat and shoes when I go to that place as a ritual to allow me to step into a different place both mentally and physically. My space is in my garage at the wood bench. For some this could be a computer game, a book on the bedside table, a night hike in the mountains, or a number of other things.
Find a place physically that you can go to get your mind off the challenges and onto the tasks of life.
Pro Tip #3 - Just the two of us time
There are a couple different facets to this that need to be emphasized. Just the two of us can be you and your partner or you and one of your kids. Maybe even a really dear friend but that is up to you.
Just you and one of your kids
Your kids are special and they all have unique talents and skills. They also need you in different ways. Get to know your kids' interest and hobbies and meet them where they are. Participate in an activity that they would enjoy. If you need some ideas on how to talk to your kids, here are some communication tips.
I recognize that if you have multiple kids, if one does something all of them have to do that thing. This is part of being a parent and balancing the special times between all of the kids.
Set a time for just you and one of your kids to do something special and explain to all of the kids that they will all get a turn just not at the same time.
Just you and your partner
This topic is very special. Your partner is awesome and beautiful and needs to be loved. I read a great book called She Comes First (affiliate link) recently that really impacted how I saw my wife. I don't know what your opinion on oral sex is and it really doesn't matter. The topic of the book is how to please your female partner orally. My take away from the book was that my partner needs service. I am not talking about sex here. I am talking about help in the house, help with the kids, help in her goals and dreams, in her passions, in how she sees you, in how she needs to be treated, in what free time she has.
Come up with one way to help your partner have time to do something for them. Give them the opportunity to clear their mind and get away for a bit. One of the greatest services that you can give someone you love is by allowing them to have a break.
Pro Tip Wrap Up
We have explored the tips that we use to get our self care back. Take this opportunity to start today to stay active. Find a place that is special for you so you have time to think about you and your life and goals. Spend time with individual people and make that time all about them. Don't forget to start!