Dating

My kids are still young and I have not experienced the parenting side of a child’s heart being broken by an ended relationship. I have had plenty of ended relationships, however.

I dated a handful of beautiful young women through high school and into my early 20’s. All of those relationships ended eventually.

Teen Daughter

From that lens, I know what breaking hearts feels like. The hearts broken as a teenager were challenging. That is just comedy gold now to think that any of those relationships that I had could have lasted.

As a dad now and the time not too far off for daughters dating, what am I teaching my daughters to look for in a relationship. I hope they would say respect, the ability to say no, to be able to feel safe.

Teen Son

My younger relationships were built on a visual drive and an impulse for satisfaction. Our kids have to be able to counter that, young people are impulsive by nature. 

Boys are more likely to act on impulse without thinking through the consequence. Here is a graphic video due to this incident. The impulse of action can lead to the destruction of future. Not just of the person doing the action but those that surround them.

Relationship

At a young age we learn what a relationship should look like (the examples that I saw were impulses for satisfaction) and then it ends abruptly and without warning. Teenagers should not be in a committed relationship, in my opinion, they haven’t even discovered what being single in college is like. Kidding on that one.

They haven’t even lived on their own yet in most situations and all of a sudden they think they are ready for a relationship that could potentially produce a child. That is crazy to me. 

The Kids Before the Horse

Having seen siblings deal with the struggle of having kids as teenagers, I am surprised there is not more of an uproar in our society about what having a baby really means. Take the abortion aspect out of it. I think that is wrong except if a person is raped, the life of the mother is in danger or their is incest. However, abortion is legal in most places and you have your agency to make that decision.  

If you are having sex and not married, be responsible. Man and Women, ask yourself if you are ready to have a child with this person. “Mistakes” happen and the reality of a child is 100% more likely if you are not abstinent. 

Young Kids and Getting Hurt

Obviously, the topic of letting someone get hurt is a multifaceted topic. We skipped over the adolescent hurts. Bruised knees and small scrapes, broken bones and hospital adventures. That is all part of growing up.

Your kids should be excited to get hurt, physically. It helps them learn to overcome the pain of injury.

The Mental Pain Struggle

The pain of mental injury is much more difficult to navigate and will most likely lead to counseling to get you or your child's head in a better place where they can cope, day to day. This is something that one of my kids has had to deal with and it is extremely heart wrenching to see the mental process come out verbally from them. Los Angeles, as good as it is, there are things that you have done to my family I can't let go. 

Talking to you random guy peeing into the street very little clothes on. Talking to you random person injecting yourself with whatever substance you fancy on the sidewalk. Talking to you, guy yelling at the sign. Talking to you sidewalk stalkers. Talking to you panhandlers who knock on the window and demand we give you money. It is very terrifying for young children.